Gender: Male Genre: Comedic. I dont even want to be the fairest of them all. Genre: Dramatic. I read the novel, but this question doesnt make any sense. NASA says hallucinations are simply a side effect of being in space, like when astronauts report seeing streaks of light that come from nowhere. And then lying on the grass, my body like lead, my head splitting with pain, and the sweet, overpowering fragrance of grass. He just doesnt understand what a good girlfriend I am. Frankly, I dont know how YOU arent scared of the ocean. Well, yknow what? I know him being in jail far away from you must be hard. You know it all because you live in the world. First Place Winner! Ive been in there for days! His name is Bagel, by the way. Youre asking why I dont go out alone at night? Thats weird. Because in the months that followed I, I dropped out of school to take care of you. Girls who wear makeup are enough. And oh yeah, she likes the Rolling Stones. No. Theres more nature-nuture stuff going on this season. Oh, yeah. Miss Fortune would never strike at a time when another contestant was supposedly answering a question about what they would supposedly do if they won the supposed titleand the entire audience was in tears about her heartwarming answer. Because I have to fit in to be enough. The young ones aint no real trouble. I love you too. Or when I put a giant pink triangle on the door to my room, or when I bought a rainbow bow tie and suspenders? Waiting for this to end is like watching a pecan tree grow. And its weird, because its not like it hurts to say that. I dont like chocolate. I havent even gone in yet. I was so tired last night. Gender: Any Genre: Dramatic. People say such cruel and harsh thingsand I believe them sometimes. Top of the ninth the no-hitter is still alive and crack!!! She was my best friend and I loved her so much, but how can I watch the entire school honour her memory and think shes a saint when she was the reason most of the students were depressed? Grabs weights and does a few exercises to calm down.) Im going to die. Good day to you sir, but a terrible day to whoever decided to claim shrimp could cook! From the outside looking in, it seems as though I have a lot of friends, but no one knows the real me. Theres no one to hold them back and tell them what not to do. No late-night work, drunken moods, or angry fits could change you. Sit in the dark and listen to music. I just know. But oh. Five minutes, thats all. If they would just accept their place in the world If they would just embrace it If they would just be what society wants them to be They would be happy! Can you- Could you repeat that slower, sir? Jaaasssooon Jason! What happened next felt instant and slow motion all at once. That will totally make him think Im cool. This is all going according to plan. (Pause.) I still cannot establish contact with NASA, so I will recap for anyone who is listening. College is going alright so far, but I had a weird thing happen to me today. Well, unfortunately Ive tried that already and they didnt buy it. She got calls for weeks after that praising my academic achievements. Why? By: Isabelle Bidal, Age 18, Ontario, Canada Description: A young teenager struggles with their appearance and clothing Genre: Dramatic. It was Max! Everything after that felt so surreal. Youll know its from space because its labelled space rock. He hated to talk in it, hated to write it, hated to listen to it. I kinda knew I had it all along. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE PEOPLE! The day I found out he was going to die, I was unfazed. I opened the door and guess what? Adieu. unachievable. Listen I dont know how this works exactly Im not you know the religious type. Well, not any more than the next person, I guess. TWO HOURS for the greater good of everyone else, but no! I draw a lot. You just assume I am dangerous? I just want to go home, man. First Place Winner! This is Captain McGrady. And after, you follow the river of job, money, family, mistakes, money, good stories, retirement money, money and then some more money, then you have grandkids and die. Thats wonderful! I call it decorating the truth. No presidents no emperors, us kids. My sister is a god too. I have been a straight-A student since I came out of the womb. Sometimes I wonder if its just a nightmare that I cant wake up from. Youre thinking of my twin brother, he loves doing that. (Begins experiencing an emotional shift.) Okie dokie. Since returning home, Ive dropped eggs, the family dog Ive even dropped a mic, not on purpose though. He sat me down on the couch. Jessie! By: Sam M., California, USA, Age 17 Gender: Male Genre: Dramatic Description: A thief is interrogated by the police. Lets just say copy and paste is the best thing ever created. Will you help me? (Opens book and begins reading again.) I thought Id be alone, sneaking out this late. We held our breath as the footsteps above grew closer and closer. Genre: Dramatic. Yes, Kimmel and Becket on 55th. He said, Sweetie Ive enrolled you in college. I was sitting outside on the pavement, breathing hard, looking at that skeleton of a pool and remembering. Im so nervous, what if I suck? Youre scared of the ocean? You ask me this every time, and its been a year, so yeah. "Monologue from Another World" - Short Monologue - Male or Female (1 . Teachers like to read stuff like that, right? Thats pretty funny isnt it? Oh! I know that shell be really disappointed, and I am too, in myself. But I guess thats your job, right? This is. By: Liam Cantin, Age 12, Quebec, Canada Description: A middle aged dog is determined to not like babiesEspecially not the one his human parents have brought home. I am your mother, and I deserve your respect. Youve thought so much that the big black blanket is now suffocating you. It was that kinda, doe-eyed, sloppy lie you tell when youve got cherry marmalade in your heart about a guy. I can hear the angels. If I wanted my grass to be used for a whistle, I would have made it a whistle. (nods) Yeah, I sure hope so. I remember we would all l hold hands around the dinner table and pray. Now I have to go, but I promise Ill be back on Thursday. But trust me, if you say anything to the police, I will never forgive you for that. I think when she pulled me in, she swapped with me out in the real world! Who would even buy such a stupid thing? I rest my case. Give one example of alliteration. Strike two; everyone cheers. There are stories in your songs. Of course you do. acute malignant leukemia of the lymph glands sounds fancy, dont it? Note: Misheard lyrics are from the song Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. I screamed at him to stop and he looked at me with white hot rage. Maybe next year it will be alright again. I should probably tell you now, before you notice it. I look out the window when Im bored, which is all the time. This beautiful pattern like a willow branch. I shop on Rodeo Drive. Maybe a source of anxiety could become a source of joy. Best I just keep chewing on my gum. Hes looking for something that doesnt taste like year-old toothpaste. Well, except for the fact Im scared. When I watched it, I was forced to silence two well-meaning but over-exuberant twelve years old who had somehow already managed to have memorized all of the music by the three o clock show on opening day; displaying my most withering glare and all the authority I was capable of mustering, being twelve myself, I shut them down. You and Papa and me. You found me just in time! Get it? Whatcha got there? Youre not tough at all! I am making this way harder than it has to be but I really cant fail, I just cant! I understand that I am interviewing you for the accountant position here. Great! For real? But hey, at least shes not one of those dairy-free flavors. So, first, my best friend and neighbor is not the sharpest tool in the shed, to say the least. Hey, why arent there any posters hung up in Ms. Daniels room? For me, Mariia means hopelessness of having nothing and only hope left. He is also grieving; His grandson Timothy died. I think she realized it wasnt gonna save her, she must have, she wasnt dumb. Kimoto is back at the wall it is caught he robs the home run! Everyone goes crazy. Ah! At that, I asked Haley to drive me back home because frankly, I could not handle one more mishap. No one sees me. I sacrifice my happiness for yours but youre never happy. I dont really remember what is was about, probably something dumb, like her borrowing something and not returning it. Genre: Dramatic. God, I know! (Smirks at audience, winking flirtatiously.) Yeah, Ive got a story for ya. It's the story of a boy and a girl who meet in secondary school, in rural Ireland: she (Marianne) is considered to be a weirdo in school, always reading books on her own and without any friends, while he (Connell) is, I wouldn't say popular, but accepted and perfectly integrated in the school community. Genre: Dramatic. Oh, your favorite character died? I just couldnt take it anymore, you know? Actor finishes writing the letter, then begins to read it. Im throwing it back. It explains a lot actually. I guess I dont have to tell you the rest. Dress Code Policies to Ensure Your Employer Retains Professionalism While Knowing All About Your Genitals, Honest Office Haiku for the Impending Recession, Help Us Remove Spam Facebook Accounts, So You Can Get Flooded With Bullshit from Real Facebook Accounts, An exhilarating, funny, frightening, mind-warping, heart-squeezing tale. How would I know? By: Karly Anderson, Age 14, Texas, USA Description: A young person is nervous about a big audition. Then I had four cookies at lunch. And this scar? Really, Im not much of anything. Oh, no, I dont have any plans tomorrow. Chained to the ground by everything Ive got going for me. He taped you to the back of his car because his tail-light was out. Thats what you gotta get through your thick skull. Jaya Thursfield, an Australian who moved to Japan 2017 with . Who am I kidding? Hey, maybe we can try to be nice to him. (turns to the friend) Youre dead to me! What have I done to deserve this? Wait, here comes a girl. Put them in the zoo and charge people three dollars to look at them. A monologue from the play by Mark Schultz. Every time we moved to another house there was one of THOSE memories. Aside from the money. If not me, at least Violet Little, (Calming down a bit) even though her accent was more on the Australian side, but maybe thats because she is Australian, I dont really remember. (Medusa is amused at Perseus looking at the statues surrounding him) Dont be scared, they cant hurt you. The crews thereeverybody's so lovely. I keep thinking Everything is in Gods hands. I panicked and looked for a place to go, and thats when I saw a student I had never met before, crouched under one of the computer tables. I would rather stay here on the docks, thank you very much. My mom always used to say, Lizzie you need to make friends, Lizzie you cant sit inside and read all day. Why not? When our sergeant told us, my body stiffened, and my heart rate sped up. Ugh! I know thats what they all say. Gender: Any Genre: Dramatic. So theres no need to tell the police anything. We came to the conclusion that we both need some light in our life, so we decided to be a light for each other. She wasnt even conscious. (angry) Wait? Become a McSweeneys Internet Tendency patron today. Then I thought, maybe it was a sign, a sign that no one cares or that Im not important enough, that Im worthless, irrelevant.
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